I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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