you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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