If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
