I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
