I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
