i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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