I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
