hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize