On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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