You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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