my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
