You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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