so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
