this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
