Got a toothbrush?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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