North Korea, Best Korea!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
