Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
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How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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