ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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