that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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