I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My life is pants optional.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize