nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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