it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
