i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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