I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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