I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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