69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
