The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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