Plan B is the new Plan A
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years