i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
soo... how was my night?
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