I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
