All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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