Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Such a big mess for such a small penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
