I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
