It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
