Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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