who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
