I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
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Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I pour the whiskey from now on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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