There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
