youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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