I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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