i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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