"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
