I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
