i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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