drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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