I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
