new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
