New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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