he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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