I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
