the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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