is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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