i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize