I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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