Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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