Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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