Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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