yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
