I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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