glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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