u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
