come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
