Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just gift wrapped bread.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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