I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
