i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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