I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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