NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
