i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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